In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, 'gonna be a bear!

Shakespeare

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide yourself for her.

Optimist

If you love someone, set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her.

Patient

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back.

Playful

If you love someone, set her free ...
*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat*

C++ Programmer

if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Lawyers

If you love someone, set her free ...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that ...

Bill Gates

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist

If you love someone, set her free ...
She'll evolve.

Statisticians

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, the Weibull distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Salesman

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, deal!
If she doesn't, so what! "NEXT".

Schwarzenegger's fans

If you love someone, set her free ...
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Insurance agent

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, sign her up,
If she doesn't, keep follow up with her and never give up!

Physician

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, it's the law of gravity,
If she doesn't, either there's friction higher than the force or the angle of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
If she doesn't, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays' style

If you love someone, set her free ...
If It Comes Back, It is Yours.
If It Doesn't, Hunt it Down and Kill It!
Or perhaps report to immigration that she / is is an illegal.


If you love someone - why in the first place set her free? CARELESS IDIOT!