birthday jokes
  • When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
  • It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
    "Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds."
    That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.

  • Q: What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?
    A: "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"
  • "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
    Next time, take off the candles."
  • Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
    A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
  • Q: What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?
    A: "Hi, Buster."
  • Q: What did one candle say to the other?
    A: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"
  • Q: Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
    A: In a cat-alogue!
  • Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
    A: Because it was marble cake!
  • Q: How can you tell that you're getting old?
    A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
  • Q: What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
    A: A birthday pheasant!
  • Man 1: "I got my wife a VCP for her birthday."
    Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?"
    Man 1: "No, a VCP ... Very Cheap Present!"
  • Q: What party game do rabbits like to play?
    A: Musical Hares.
  • Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"
    "I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."
  • "I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you."
    "A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?"
    "That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!"
  • Q: What does the hungry monster get after he's eaten too much ice cream?
    A: More ice cream!
  • "Were any famous men born on your birthday?"
    "No, only little babies."
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