Shakespeare

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide yourself for her.

Optimist

If you love someone, set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her.

Patient

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back.

Playful

If you love someone, set her free ...
*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat*

C++ Programmer

if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Lawyers

If you love someone, set her free ...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that ...

Bill Gates

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist

If you love someone, set her free ...
She'll evolve.

Statisticians

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, the Weibull distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Salesman

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, deal!
If she doesn't, so what! "NEXT".

Schwarzenegger's fans

If you love someone, set her free ...
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Insurance agent

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, sign her up,
If she doesn't, keep follow up with her and never give up!

Physician

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, it's the law of gravity,
If she doesn't, either there's friction higher than the force or the angle of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
If she doesn't, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays' style

If you love someone, set her free ...
If It Comes Back, It is Yours.
If It Doesn't, Hunt it Down and Kill It!
Or perhaps report to immigration that she / is is an illegal.


If you love someone - why in the first place set her free? CARELESS IDIOT!

La Radio Erevan, intrebare plina de patos?
- Alo, buna ziua. As dori sa stiu si eu de ce in Elvetia nu se asculta manele!

- Pentru ca e tara neutra.
- Asa, si?

- Cum asa, si? Daca e tara neutra, nu are dusmani!

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I’m Stupid". That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you? You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me ... oops, never mind. I didn’t see your sign."

It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine. We pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ’ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y’all catch all them fish?" "Nope - Talked ’em into giving up. Here’s your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there’s only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good ... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don’t wanna lose it."

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn’t ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn’t get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ... ok ... no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign ... until he asked "So ... is your truck stuck?" I couldn’t help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I’m delivering’ a bridge ... here’s your sign."

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan.

The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"

The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"

Dear God,
So far today, I've done OK, I haven't gossiped, or lost my temper.
I haven't been greedy, crabby, mean, nasty, selfish, bitchy or overindulgent.
And I'm grateful for that.
But dear God, in a few minutes I'm gonna get out of bed, and then I'm probably
gonna need a lot more help.
Amen.

Dear God,
In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane

Dear God,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. - Elliot

Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday.
That was cool! - Eugene

Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that a trick? - Lucy

Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma

Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones
You have now? - Cindy

Dear God,
Who draws the lines around countries? - Nan

Dear God,
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool".
But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. - Edward

Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? - Neil

Dear God,
Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce

Dear God,
Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom

1. - Cum se numesc rudele Papei?
- Paparude.
2. - Cum se numesc nasii Papei?
- Papanasi.
3. - Ce este un celibatar?
- Un barbat care a pierdut ocazia de a face nefericita o femeie.
4. - Cum isi aleg chinezii numele viitorului copil?
- Dau drumul unui lighean pe scari si noteaza ce aud.
5. - Cum se obtine lumina cu ajutorul apei?
- Spaland geamurile!
6. - De ce nu se duc toti managerii in concediu in acelasi timp?
- Ca sa nu se vada ca merge compania si fara ei.
7. - De ce un cocos canta cu ochii inchisi?
- Sa vada lumea ca stie versurile pe de rost.
8. - De ce s-a inventat ciocolata alba?
- Ca sa se murdareasca si negri la gura.
9. - Stii cum se cheama un caine fara picioare?
- Nu se cheama ca oricum nu vine!