Wearing white is always in style - even after Labor Day.
Getting outside in the winter is good for your health.
Getting outside in the winter is good for your health.
It's fun just to hang out in your front yard.
We're all made up of mostly water.
Accessories don't have to be expensive.
Don't get too much sun!
If you're a little bottom heavy - hey, that's okay!
You know you've made it when they write a song about you.
If you look down and can't see your feet - you're probably not very active.
Sometimes sweating too much can have disasterous results.
Accessories don't have to be expensive.
Don't get too much sun!
If you're a little bottom heavy - hey, that's okay!
You know you've made it when they write a song about you.
If you look down and can't see your feet - you're probably not very active.
Sometimes sweating too much can have disasterous results.
Intr-o zi, un sofer de autobuz a mers ca de obicei la serviciu, si-a pornit bus-ul si a plecat pe traseu. Nimic deosebit la primele cateva statii: cativa oameni care-au urcat, cativa care-au coborat si totul a fost ok. La urmatoarea statie, insa, un tip enorm a urcat in bus, cam 1,90 m, cu constitutie de luptator categoria grea... s-a uitat spre sofer zicand: "Big John nu plateste!" si s-a asezat pe un scaun. V-am spus ca soferul avea cam 1,60m, era slabanog si genul de om bland?... Asa ca nu s-a certat cu Big John, dar nu i-a convenit chestia asta deloc. Urmatoarea zi se intampla acelasi lucru - Big John a urcat iar in bus, a spus tare ca el nu plateste si s-a asezat.
Urmatoarea zi iarasi... si-n zilele urmatoare la fel... Pana cand soferul n-a mai rezistat, deja avea insomnii din cauza lui Big John care-si batea joc de el. As ca-ntr-un final, s-a inscris la niste cursuri de body-building, karate, judo si alte arte martiale. Dupa cateva luni, deja era foarte puternic, mai mult, devenise foarte increzator. Asa ca, ziua urmatoare cand Big John urca in bus si spuse "Big John nu plateste", soferul s-a ridicat, i-a aruncat o privire crunta si-a zbierat la el: "Si de ce nu?" Big John l-a privit foarte uimit si i-a replicat: "Big John are abonament".
Morala: ASIGURA-TE CA EXISTA O PROBLEMA INAINTE DE-A FACE EFORTURI URIASE S-O REZOLVI!
Urmatoarea zi iarasi... si-n zilele urmatoare la fel... Pana cand soferul n-a mai rezistat, deja avea insomnii din cauza lui Big John care-si batea joc de el. As ca-ntr-un final, s-a inscris la niste cursuri de body-building, karate, judo si alte arte martiale. Dupa cateva luni, deja era foarte puternic, mai mult, devenise foarte increzator. Asa ca, ziua urmatoare cand Big John urca in bus si spuse "Big John nu plateste", soferul s-a ridicat, i-a aruncat o privire crunta si-a zbierat la el: "Si de ce nu?" Big John l-a privit foarte uimit si i-a replicat: "Big John are abonament".
Morala: ASIGURA-TE CA EXISTA O PROBLEMA INAINTE DE-A FACE EFORTURI URIASE S-O REZOLVI!
A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." "Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".
The wife, and the fairy, was deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and - abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story:
Men might be ungrateful idiots... But... Fairies are... Females!!!
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." "Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".
The wife, and the fairy, was deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and - abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story:
Men might be ungrateful idiots... But... Fairies are... Females!!!
To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.
To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to
A premature baby.
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.
To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to
A premature baby.
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.
To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics
To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.
To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics
To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.
Number 5: They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.Number 4: This is just a 15 minute power up nap they have raved about in the time-management course you sent me to.
Number 3: 'Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here just in time.!'
Number 2: Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?
Number 1: best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:
(Raising you head up slowly) ...in Jesus name, Amen.
* The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
* Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
* Do unto others before they do unto you.
* Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
* Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it.
* Experience is learning a lot of crap you didn't really want to know.
* I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
* If 10 percent is good enough for God, it should be enough for the IRS.
* Was today really necessary?
* If 10 percent is good enough for God, it should be enough for the IRS.
* Was today really necessary?
* Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
* The more I learn, the less I understand.
* Just because people don't understand you doesn't make you an artist.
* There are two important things to remember about surrealism. Frogs, power tools, and the Lincoln Memorial.
* There are two important things to remember about surrealism. Frogs, power tools, and the Lincoln Memorial.
* I came here with nothing, and I still have most of it.
* Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.
* Pass carefully. Driver chews tobacco.
* O.K., I take it back. Unscrew you.
* Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.
* Pass carefully. Driver chews tobacco.
* O.K., I take it back. Unscrew you.
* The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
* I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
* Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
* Better living through denial.
* Better living through denial.
* You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
* Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
* I got a gun for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
* Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
* I got a gun for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
* So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute!* I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
* I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
You would have to eat more than a dozen Hershey Bars to get the amount of caffeine in one cup of coffee. A favorite dish of the Aztecs was roast turkey with chocolate gravy. The best selling candy bar in the U.S. is Snickers. Chocolate manufacturers currently use 40 percent of the world's almonds and 20 percent of the world's peanuts. Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's movie, Psycho. White chocolate contains no caffeine. Half of Americans choose what chocolate they eat by the shape of the piece. American chocolate manufacturers use about 1.5 billion pounds of milk—only surpassed by the cheese and ice cream industries. On his fourth voyage to the New World, in 1502, Christopher Columbus was the first European to taste chocolate. In soda fountain slang, a "bucket of mud" is a bowl of chocolate ice cream. In a recent survey, 70 percent of female respondents said they would rather have chocolate than sex. Chocolate first appeared on film when Jean Harlow ate candy in the 1933 comedy Dinner at Eight. Sixty-three percent of Americans say they can't resist buying a chocolate for themselves when buying chocolates for someone else. The average American eats about 10 pounds of chocolate a year. The Swiss average 20 pounds a year. It takes 400 cacao beans to make one pound of chocolate. Nabisco uses more than 37 million pounds of chocolate a year to make Chips Ahoy cookies. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. Chocolate was once considered a temptation of the devil. Vanilla is used to make chocolate. Of all cookies baked in the United States, 25 percent are chocolate chip. A national survey showed 80 percent of U.S. teachers in grades kindergarten through eighth grade have received chocolate as a gift from their students. There are 96 Hershey's Kisses in one pound. The factory in Hackettstown, New Jersey which makes M&Ms produces 300 million M&Ms a day or about 100 billion M&Ms a year. Consumers spend more than $7 billion a year on chocolate. U.S. consumers eat 2.8 billion pounds of chocolate annually, representing nearly half of the world's supply. Chocolate can be lethal to dogs. Each Hershey's Kiss is wrapped in five square inches of foil wrap. Napoleon carried chocolate with him on his military campaigns, and always ate it when he needed quick energy. Chocolate in a blue wrapper won't sell in Shanghai or Hong Kong because the Chinese associate blue with death.* I feel so much better since I lost hope.
* It's people like you that make people like me take medicine.
* Alzheimer's. A disease that...where are my socks?* Don't vote. It just encourages them.
* Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
* If walking is so good for you, why does my mailman look like that?
* Ask me about my vow of silence.
* If the answer isn't beer, you've asked the wrong question.
* Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
* Before you condemn someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
* We must silence those who oppose freedom of speech.
* A man does not have to be a bigamist to have one wife too many.
* Try not to let your mind wander. It's too small and fragile to be out by itself.
* Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
* I'm happily married, but my wife isn't.
* Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* You are right where you belong. Behind me.
* Old age comes at a bad time.
ce ma dispera cand se baga cineva in seama ca sa iti ceara sau sa te intrebe ceva si dupa ce raspunzi sau dai
ce`i trebuie zice "BRB" ...adica mai pe romaneste...pa ca nu mai avem ce discuta...ca io vad ca idle nu vine....busy nici gand....si sign out nici atata....zi domne mersi frumos, ceau, vorbim cand o sa mai am nevoie de ceva de la tine...sau mai bine intreaba pe cineva cu care vorbesti toata ziua de la bun inceput, sau lasa brbu ca oricum se stie ca e cam acelasi lucru cu bine ma fraiere, te`am facut.
atat am avut de zis...BRB =))
ce`i trebuie zice "BRB" ...adica mai pe romaneste...pa ca nu mai avem ce discuta...ca io vad ca idle nu vine....busy nici gand....si sign out nici atata....zi domne mersi frumos, ceau, vorbim cand o sa mai am nevoie de ceva de la tine...sau mai bine intreaba pe cineva cu care vorbesti toata ziua de la bun inceput, sau lasa brbu ca oricum se stie ca e cam acelasi lucru cu bine ma fraiere, te`am facut.atat am avut de zis...BRB =))
In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you're mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup, 'gonna be a bear!
